We have our God to show us how to be the best parents that we can be
I conceived my daughter right after a tragic moment of my life, God blessed me with a bright and beautiful girl. I counted every day of my pregnancy I was obsessed with her, I couldn't wait to smell her, hold her, kiss her, and finally see her. Yes, I was one of the moms that my pregnancy was my only focus, my pregnancy was a high risk, but I would do it again. I love kids, love being a mom just love it. As much as I love it, the older she gets the more I realize that not everything is perfect in parenting it takes hard work, money, patience, perseverance, understanding, maturity, prayers, tears, understanding, self-control, and as parents we must change our lifestyle, and ways to be the best for our children. We need lots of Love & wisdom from above, but also humility because we have to be able to recognize whenever we are wrong and apologize to them.
My daughter is a wonderful girl, she is loving, kind, bright, healthy, but of course, she has my DNA & her fathers DNA, she's stubborn, emotional, sarcastic and very strong-minded, I sometimes wonder; who is she like? Well, I am some of that too. she's teaching me a few lessons for sure, in order for her to be the best & do well I need to be my best & do my best to have a positive attitude, to be honest, calm, gentle, kind in actions and words, forgiven, a better listener, and to have Jesus as the center of my life and home as priority, they are constantly watching us, imitating us, and wanting to be like us. I have to be the example for her because kids look up to their parents and become a lot like us. I recently had a scare with my daughter, it was devastating to know that my baby girl was hurting inside and was not feeling very good about herself, she is a little angry, confused, feeling anxious after losing her grandmother, her faith was not as strong anymore. It broke my heart to have to hear from someone else that out of anger she said that she felt like life was just hard to live, at 11 years old? Behind me Satan....in Jesus name I asked God to break any works of the enemy against my family. I picked her up from school & I hugged my child & told her how much I love her, how special she is to me, and that life wouldn't make sense without her with me, my heart felt empty, my strength had left me, I fell on my knees crying and praying to God, I failed my daughter I felt, feeling as if I had failed God because he entrusted me with his precious treasure. I questioned my parenting skills, my abilities as a mother, and my judgment as well, asked myself where I was making mistakes? God answered me. It was hard to swallow but I needed to know. Marcia your daughter is becoming the woman that you taught her to be with your actions, your words, and she's dealing with her problems and emotions the way that she watches you deal with yours, you thought she wasn't paying attention but she was, you're her mirror, God made sure I wouldn't take all the blame but I needed to change my ways to match Gods ways, I needed my character to reflect the God in "Me", and not the enemy. I needed to be positive, forgiven, honest, clean, Godly, wise with my words, I had to show her that my joy & contentment comes from him and not circumstances, to be secure in our God, to be peaceful, gentle, not sarcastic or led by emotions, he told me that I needed to focus on positive things, pray more, be aware of my words when I get upset or angry and how I respond to things. We are all humans, we all fall short of God's glory we do not deserve anything good, but he still gives us good things, he understands our ways are not always right, that is why he made sure to provide us with enough information on how to be a better person so that we can make great Godly parents. He reminded me of the importance of letting go of resentment, strife, bad language, screaming, to have respect self and for others, patience, to walk by faith and not fear or sight, "humility " and to stop being so critical of myself and others.
I know I am not a bad parent, but I knew that I could do better for her, I decided yes I'll listen to my father and accept that I had to allow him to work on me, by changing my ways, my thoughts, my attitude, my ♥ Heart, the desires of my heart, make better choices, please God first, to be consistent, to become a light, had to learn gratitude, compassion, and to be a light to her, to become the woman of proverbs and not the woman of the world, that has been my goal, and God & I are working on it, not to rely on myself but completely rely and rest on our Creator. We are not perfect and because of it, we will not be perfect parents but we can do our best to be the best parents, with God nothing is impossible. We can do it!
We need to spend time together, talk, share our day, encourage them, pay attention to their needs, not just physical needs, but most important is the emotional and physical needs. I understand that we want to work hard for them but our presence in their lives is more important than shower them with expensive gifts, study the bible, talk about God, life, their dreams and fears, problems, to lift them up, we want to win their trust, get off the electronics, social media and give them the time to grow healthy. Another thing that got my attention that we as parents forget is to teach our kids how to handle difficult times, do we go crazy and give up, or do we teach them how to stay focus on God while we are going through it? they watch how we deal with problems, we want to teach them how to rely on our God and cling to him.
You can be a great Parent
As single parents, we also can be great parents
Be a Good Communicator; We need to be good listeners, even when we are tired, or upset, paying attention to the words that we say to our kids, try to be available whenever our kids need us. be patient. There is “a time to keep quiet and a time to speak,” says Ecclesiastes 3:7 Be “quick in hearing, slow about speaking.” (James 1:19) “A person’s thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out.”Proverbs 20:5, Good News Translation. If you fail to make a conscious effort to stay calm, you may lose your temper and shout, which can be harmful in more ways than one! (Ephesians 4:31)
Set Sound Priorities; Decide what is truly important to you and your children, and make these things your priorities. Stick to your priorities, and learn to manage your time and finances accordingly. Train your children to tidy up every night. Don’t let your home get out of control. Such domestic discipline teaches your children to take responsibility for their room and even for the home. Of course, your good example will add weight to your words. We must spend time with your children—not just brief periods of so-called quality time but as much time as you can give them. Your children need your time and attention.—Deuteronomy 6:7. Have at least one meal together each day, and make mealtime a pleasant occasion.
Set Clear Boundaries; The Bible foretold that in “the last days,” children, in general, would be “disobedient to parents.”—2 Timothy 3:1, 2 As parents we must teach obedience to our children by being obedient too, by obeying the laws, and God. Relationships are better and less stressful when boundaries are clear.” He added: “The more explicit our boundaries, and the more clearly they are expressed, the easier relationships become. Be firm, and be true to your word. (Matthew 5:37) An Australian study revealed that children often misbehave when parents are unable to say no and when they constantly give in to their children. As the Bible says: “A boy [or girl] let on the loose will be causing his mother shame.”—Proverbs 29:15.
We must Establish Good Moral Values; “Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, . . . hopes all things endures all things. Love never fails.”—1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It is not always easy to live by Bible standards, but the results are well worth the effort!
We can Look to God for Help; Isaiah 41:10: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. . . . I will really help you.” The Bible is much more than a guide. It reveals God’s wonderful personality and his love for us. Hence, as many Christian parents—single and married—have discovered, when we apply Bible teachings, we actually experience God’s goodness. Reflecting God’s compassion and concern for us, Jesus Christ said: “Come to me, all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you . . . , for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-30).
Basically, We want to Raise our Children With Love, the Some kind of Love that God has for Us!
How can we the best Parents to our Children in any circustance?
We have the best example of how to be a parent, all we need to do is to think about how our Spiritual Father Loves us, his Love for us is so big that God sent his son here on Earth and he knew that he would die, and Jesus Christ the head of the Congregation Died for us, that's how big their love for us is, willing to sacrifice what they love the most for us, sinners!
Our children should know how much we love them, they should feel loved, valued, wanted, protected, our children should trust us, it doesn't mean that they won't have secrets and their privacy, it simply means that they should always know that they can count on us with whatever they need, as long it doesn't break any of our rules or God's will.
Being their parents does not mean that we have
the green card to talk to them any kind of way, we still want consider their feelings, respect them as humans, pray with them, listen to them, the bible says; Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do
not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. We want to be encouraging to our children, build their confidence, self-esteem, build their trust, teach them with Love, it doesn't mean to let them do whatever they wish.
We must Discipline our Children;
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. As we read here it doesn't say beat your children, we want to do our best to keep them in the right paths, just as God does for us, he still disciplines us, that happens whenever we have to deal and face the consequences of our actions, he Loves us but we still have to deal with our consequences, but he still shows us, Love, as long as we are humble enough to come to him and allow him to straight our ways, that's how we want to be with our children, never hold our love back from our children, it's not always easy, that is why we've Gods example on how to love our children.
Some of us believe that being a good parent is by giving them all the material stuff that the world has to offer, best cars, cell phones, homes, vacations, have them in certain schools, etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give our children the best, but we must first give them our time, teach them about God & his kingdom, give them less and hug them more!
Genesis 18:19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice,
so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him. “Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Isaiah 54:13 All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. We want to raise our Kids in God’s Love,
teach them the ways of God so that that grow up with Godly qualities, there is nothing better than having a close relationship with our God, nothing compares with the Spiritual blessings and provisions from our God.